Saturday, October 26, 2013

The Big-Girl Table.

I hated it when we had company... because I always had to sit at the kiddie-table.

Perhaps table is too generous of a term.  Rather, it was a rubbery, forest-green slab attached to four metal legs.  It reminded me of something that you would see in a retirement home, where fellow-wrinkly-chums would sit together and play cards.  Ironic...given that the kids sit at this table.

The Big-Girl Table sat six people, and "company" usually involved two guests.  Thus, the two youngest kids (Bekki and Brigham) were booted to that abominable kiddie-table.  Even as Kristin and Kylie left for college, the number of guests conveniently increased.

And it came to pass that in those days, we were confined to the regions of darkness, shunned from intellectually-stimulating conversations, and forced to satiate our hunger in isolation and sorrow.  And there was much weeping, and wailing, and gnashing of teeth.

On my 16th birthday, I thought, "16 is a big birthday...and I can drive... therefore, I am a big girl, and I can sit at the Big-Girl Table." I still sat at the kiddie-table.  Brigham lovingly saved a place for me.

On my 18th birthday, I thought, "18 is a huge birthday. I can vote...and get married...and get convicted as an adult...and buy a Costco membership...therefore, I am a big girl, and I can sit at the Big-Girl Table."  I still sat at the kiddie-table, and then, I left for college.

I think my frustration with the kiddie-table reflected a desire to grow up... to be a "Big Girl" just like Mom.  But now that I am an adult, I am recognizing that it's not all that fun, sometimes.  For instance, getting the mail is just sad... bill after bill after bill after bill.  And cooking my favorite recipes?  It's not the same, and it's not how Mom makes it.  Sometimes I wish that she was here, cooking dinner in her special way, teaching me the rules of kick-butt-coupon-shopping, hugging me and telling me that she loves me before I go to bed...

Being a responsible adult is hard and daunting, and I wish I could tell my 12-year-old self, "Don't grow up too fast, kid! Childhood will be gone before you know it."  So when I go home, and we have company, I think I'll be okay sitting at the kiddie-table.  I'm sure Brigham is still saving a spot for me.  


Sunday, October 6, 2013

I Suppose an Explanation is in Order.

The Silver Fox.  The glaze on your donut.  The frosting on your cake.  The seasoning on your chicken.

That's right, folks... this is Dieter F. Uchtdorf we're talking about, and it is such a pleasure to see him and to hear him speak during General Conference.  My friends from the University Ward and Valley Forge know of my captivation/obsession/glee/love for this blessed man.  My newer friends and acquaintances, however, express slight concern.  Such concern necessitates this explanation...

I have always been a firm believer that Elder Uchtdorf has been graced with astonishing good looks.  Oh yes, Heavenly Father has blessed him abundantly.  Last year, I taught Relief Society, and my lesson addressed the need to be temporally prepared.  I used one of Elder Uchtdorf's messages as a supplement, and his picture was included in the article.  As I gazed into his smiling face, I thought... "Dang, he is attractive."  But then... I heard giggling, laughing, cackling, and squeals of amusement.  It was then that I realized... I just verbalized my secret thoughts.  My peers know that I have a ridiculous crush on a man who is old enough to be my grandpa.  Naturally, word spread like a wildfire, and I suppose that it's somewhat of a joke among my friends, now.

As Elder Uchtdorf spoke during yesterday's session, I received an onslaught of text messages... dear friends who were thinking of me and, most particularly, my feelings for an apostle of the Lord.  So, why is Elder Uchtdorf so amazing?

  1. Okay... clearly, obviously, as you can see... Elder Uchtdorf reigns in the good looks apartment.  He has excellent skin tone, he maintains a good figure, he has a classy and sculpted hairstyle, and he has that winning, million-dollar smile.  He ages impeccably well.  
  2. He has excellent taste in Sunday attire.  I'll bet that he gets his suits tailored... they fit him so well, and his ties are selected with such taste, precision, and effort.  He switches ties for every.conference.session, and yet he still manages to emerge into the conference center looking like a total stud. 
  3. The wicked accent??? Enough said, my friends!
  4. And perhaps the most important reason -- one of the times in which I felt the Spirit so strongly was during Elder Uchtdorf's address to the Young Women organization.  It was the General Young Women Conference of May 2010.  His message, one that I will never forget, is that the Gospel is our path to "happily ever after".  I felt the Spirit and love of God radiate from his presence, and I knew that he was a man called of God... to deliver messages of love, wisdom, and council to the members of this Church.  
I am grateful for Elder Uchtdorf.  I love him.  I love General Conference and the opportunity we have to be edified by the Spirit and to learn from the words of righteous leaders of this Church, as we all unite to come unto Christ, to strengthen our testimonies, and to declare the message of salvation.

Will I always love Elder Uchtdorf? Yes.  Even when I am married and have a husband so attractive that I could fry chicken on him? Absolutely.  And will Elder Uchtdorf always look so stinking good? You bet.